Moving Forward

ūüôā ¬†That’s it! ¬†It makes sense now. ¬†His persistent nagging for me to move out is because he has ‘moved on’ so to speak. ¬†Last night he left the house at 11 pm, and returned at 7 am. ¬†There’s only one type of visit that falls into that category! ¬†Haha. ¬†So, to lighten the awkwardness this morning, as he walked naked from the shower to his room, I light heartedly suggested he should stop that practice after spending the night elsewhere as it sends mixed messages :-). ¬†I then had my own shower. ¬†After getting mostly ready I knocked on his bedroom door to chat about it – ¬†I was very straight about not wanting to know where he spent the night. ¬†I let him know it affected me – I didn’t cry or anything dramatic, just simply stated that of course it affected me. ¬†I then asked if this is why he’s been so persistent about me moving out – as in he doesn’t know how to date while living with the ex? ¬†He just said it’s an awkward situation. ¬†I agreed. ¬†It is. ¬†But then I pointed out it’s comfortable, and probably the least lonely break up ever – not that we spend a lot of time together these days, but it’s comforting not being completely alone all the time. ¬†He agreed that this is the least lonely break up so far. ¬†I also pointed out we still get along. ¬†We can chat – we can laugh – we can not talk at all – just like normal roommates. ¬†I then left the room to keep getting ready. ¬†A few minutes later, he offered to share his latest cheesy jokes, the first two were funny, the third I don’t remember because I started getting teary eyed and was remembering how I loved these cheesy jokes of his. ¬†I kept getting ready. ¬†He drove me to where I needed to go on his way to work. ¬†He asked me if I wanted to go shooting on Sunday (not to kill me – haha – though I suppose keeping loaded guns away for the moment is wise).

So. ¬†I think that was it. ¬†He’s moving on (so am I btw – but not worth mentioning yet) and he does not know how to date and live with me. ¬†I get it. ¬†I don’t know either. ¬†A man I plan on meeting this weekend keeps referring to picking me up – but I don’t think that’s right quite yet. ¬†I feel like I am the one in this break up that will handle these first firsts better. ¬†He’s now spent the night with someone else, so I feel a whole lot less awkward about when I do it. ¬†And I’m glad we were able to just talk about it this morning – that it’s ok – that yes its awkward – but it’s what is going happen. ¬†I want him to be the first to be picked up by another woman too. ¬†It just makes things easier, and I don’t have to worry about his spite and anger ūüėČ





Lull, Lull, Lull, Lull, Lull

So, ¬†In my mind it is still lull time. ¬†And it’s been over a week? ¬†Nothing really dramatic or exciting going on. ¬†The ex is somewhat pestering me about moving out earlier than when I can get back into my own house. ¬†Though I am not sure where he expects me to go. ¬†We have been living together for 5 years, and unfortunately for me we started dating shortly after I moved to this city. ¬†So sadly, I do not have a wide range of friends. ¬†Not ones that I can impose on for 4 months anyways!

So, I say, why can’t we be grown up about this? ¬†We are supposed to be grown ups after all. ¬†I completely agree with him that living together for 4 months is not an ideal situation, but honestly for me, it’s better than what he proposing I should do – get the first dive I can move into asap and get out. ¬†Don’t you admire those couples who can remain friends after a break up and still treat each other with dignity and respect. ¬†I know I do. ¬†That’s the kind of person I want to be. ¬†I just wish the ex wanted to be like that too.

He has one friend who recently went through a break up and was living with his ex for a couple of months while the ex found a place. ¬†I remember when he told us this story, neither of us thought it was weird… We both thought it was mighty BIG of him. ¬†To be able to play nice. ¬†So, I reminded my ex of this tonight. ¬†Hopefully he thinks about it some more and becomes a big man himself.

And, I must say. ¬†It’s rather comforting still living here. ¬†For me, we have already fallen into roommate mode. ¬†It’s easy. ¬†It’s not lonely. ¬†It’s comfortable. ¬†We joke, share stories about our day that the other person has the background to understand without a lengthy explanation, watch tv together sometimes. ¬†Now by no means do I plan on extending my stay, but I am not feeling the desire to get out immediately either. ¬†I see no reason why we cannot live amicably for 4 more months – we managed for 5 years after all ūüôā

So, I was searching on the internet for the typical amount of time ex’s cohabitate after a break up thinking maybe I am being unreasonable – and Nada! ¬†I seen one post with 5 people’s situations. ¬†Not something I can conclude is typical. ¬†But they did range from 6 weeks to a year and a half! ¬†So I’d say 4 months is not so bad. ¬†Of course we have ‘rules’. ¬†Don’t bring a date home, etc. ¬†That seems completely reasonable to me. ¬†What I am a little fuzzy on, is a date picking you up. ¬†It doesn’t seem so bad, but I suppose it may crush the other person if they themselves are not at that stage yet. ¬†I suppose to be safe and respectful, no dates picking us¬†up is completely reasonable.

*fingers crossed* one of my tenants moves out sooner rather than later.